she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
