What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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