I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
