OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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