So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
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I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
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All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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