did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
