If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
