K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
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I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
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Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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