i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's blow job season.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
