Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
