neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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