So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
