why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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