ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
