She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
