do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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