if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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