i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
