Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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