I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
