Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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