Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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