But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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