we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Randomize
