She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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