Where did you get a picture of my penis
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
