I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
