Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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