Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So much rum. So many feels.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
