i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize