Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
