He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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