whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What did we do last night that was yellow?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I've blown a few things in my day
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.