I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
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her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…