it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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