yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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