you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
