So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
