Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
