I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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