Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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