So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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