I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
