Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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