i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
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I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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