Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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