Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
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Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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