I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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