i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
