you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
