what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
