Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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