It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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