Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need a beard to bite.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
