11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
