So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
