no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
