I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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