hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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