Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
