That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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