What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
