You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
