I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
