This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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